Good Morning, Ladies!
I want to say "Good Morning!" to the girls who have once again renewed my faith in my own principles.
Just when Your Professor thinks he might be softening even slightly in his hard line against marriage and most relationships, you gals are like a cold slap in the face and you make me realize that I am saying and doing exactly the right things. Teaching the right things too.
The following chicks (unnamed, to avoid the usual frivolous lawsuits) are all real people who I have known at some point. God help the next sucker who plucks (or has already plucked) these girls out of the Tom Leykis Recycle Bin:
- Good morning to the unbelievably beautiful Colombian chick in Orange County who needs a green card. The one who would let me see her naked and sleep in the same bed with me, but who would stop at some point after we got down to business. The one who I put on ice. The one who now sends me links to her Facebook page so I can look at literally hundreds of pictures of her new anchor baby. No boyfriend or husband, mind you. Just a 31-year-old illegal alien and her half-American kid. Now, I see why I could never close the deal here. If only I hadn't pulled out a condom!
- Good morning to the hot, young blond attorney who won't stop calling me. The one who kept asking me "where our relationship is going" incessantly shortly after she started having sex with me. The one who later told me that she had met a guy and, in just one weekend, he told her that he "loved" her. The one who said to "never call this number or send me an email again" because she was now "in love." The one who called me six months later in tears because her "boyfriend" took her on a camping trip with his friends and he and the friends made her feel left out of the conversation. So she went back to her tent and used her cell phone behind the Love Of Her Life's back to call Guess Who? "You never treated me like that," she said. "That's why he's still there and I'm not," I told her. "You love being treated like shit!" Amazingly, shortly after returning from her camping trip she showed up knocking at my front door because "she needed to talk." She came in and, in no time flat, ended up fucking me behind her boyfriend's back. A little revenge sex, and I was happy to oblige. Then, the next day, knowing how much she loves to be treated like shit, I told her "never call this number or email me again." And, guess what? She still calls me. I don't answer. Checked her Facebook page and she has still another "boyfriend." If you're out there, sir, your "girlfriend" calls me behind your back looking for my attention. She is in such denial, she'll never believe that it's HER that I'm writing about! And think about this: this attorney has clients! If only they knew!
- Good morning to the large roster of chicks I have known over the years who start up chats with me online, asking various questions such as "who are you seeing?" and "how often do you get to______? (fill in the blank: Orange County, San Diego, etc.)" only to see them suddenly stop for some strange reason in mid-chat. A quick check of the Facebook pages of virtually every one of them shows scads of baby photos, or that their interests include "Loving My Hubby." Those poor, stupid fucks.
- Good morning to the half Mexican/half Italian chick with the unimaginably large breasts who recently resurfaced after a long absence as if nothing ever happened. Sweetie, did you think I wouldn't look at your Facebook page and see that you have a new last name? Does Mr. Last Name know how much you love Facebook? Or that your collection of bikini photos is larger than ever? Isn't Love Wonderful?
- Good morning to the variety of chicks I once dated who invite me to their suburban backyard barbecues or holiday parties. "He's just like you! You guys will get along great!" He's nothing like me. He agreed to pay your bills! By the way, why are women so anxious to introduce the guys they've fucked in the past to the guys who are paying their bills today? Is there some kinky thrill in that? "Honey! This is my friend Tom!" Have some respect for the sucker who bought you that Kia Sedona. Leave your past behind! They can't or just won't!
- Good morning to the gals who've fucked me, got tired of waiting for a commitment, then settled for someone else stupid enough to buy instead of to lease. These are the girls who then call me surreptitiously looking for relationship advice! You know who you are. You're kidding, right ladies? "Hello, Satan.....?" I am still getting these calls and emails.
- Good morning to the Mexican freak in the San Fernando Valley who stopped fucking me, telling me that she "needs more of a commitment," then wantonly fucked several others, all the while calling me to see "where my head was at." Here is where my head is at: if you fuck others but not me, there will never, ever be a relationship. Why would you think otherwise, you stupid fucked-up slut?
I have to stop now and I am not even half done.This blog is not being posted for the benefit of the girls in question. It's being posted for you stupid fucks who are in love with someone who they think is as pure as the driven snow. Today's women are scandalous, which should be obvious to you when their idols are Lindsay Lohan, the Kardashians, and Snooki.
Look boys, I'm not telling you not to get laid. I am telling you not to talk yourself into believing that today's women are something they're not. "Falling in love" and getting into "committed relationships" are a fool's game. Women who are good for those purposes are few and far between. And the women you love so much who act like sluts in bed weren't born that way. They were made that way. By guys like me. Who they're still calling behind your back.
Comments
Match.com
I just checked out the site match.com, and there is one common feature women above 30 are looking for in a man. Ok take a guess .......... confidence? NO. Guess again ............... Generosity? CORRECT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
No such thing as "half American"
While I'm not fond of anchor babies (ESPECIALLY not fond of the mothers who plan on having them solely for the purpose of amnesty), that comment was wrong on many different levels. Its also a borderline "right wing wacko" comment.
I guess your parents were Native Americans.
I still have mad respect for ya Tom, do your thing homeboy.
like men are better
look, men and women are both single until they get married. she can fuck whoever she wants until then.
Good Evening
It is a rarity for a man or a woman to have a value system that is centered in honesty & integrity that doesn't contradict itself.
Most women like to be treated like shit because they are not emotionally intelligent to know any better.
As for dishonesty, well people are weak and indulge their selfishness.
Everything you say is spot on.
-Julie
Daaaaaayuuuuuuum!!!!
Truth to game if I ever heard it. I'm glad class is back in session Professor.
I don't understand why women
I don't understand why women feel that they can change a man and force him into making a commitment. Women: why would you want to be in a relationship with a puss of a man that would allow himself to be pushed around and basically forced into committing to you? I can't stand wimpy men; they are so unattractive. Tom, that's why these "girls" want you back. They know that what they want from you is unattainable, so they crave it even more. It's your attitude Tom...so sexy.
Why oh why do so many use failbook?
C'mon, can't any of you idiots figure out that you're ADVERTISING ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFO TO THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD!?
Why the fuck would ANYONE put themselves on television and blare their lives to all, including future employers, the police, or other people you'd rather not know of your drunken escapades?
The worst part is I have to deal with the failbook-addicts who keep trying to push it onto me like a bad drug! They keep hitting me with shaming language like "you're anti-social!" (only to your kind!) and other baseless bullshit because I refuse to upload my photograph alongside a permanent of my embarrassing teen years.
Wasn't that used as a deterrent not five years ago? "We'll jot down that you did X and Y on Z date so your boss, the cops, and all your family will know about it forever and ever. So don't do X and Y. Understand?" And these retards are doing it WILLINGLY and HAPPILY.
Stupidity is contagious, and idiots are the vector. You have to constantly battle and disinfect the smallest signs it so you don't get sucked in and diseased.
And even if I don't upload all that info, I'd still have to login every day to sort through all the childish pokes and farmville garbage, or get sucked in to internets-drama, or shake my head at how clueless my very own flesh and blood is by posting all their real-life photographs on the fucking Internet ALONG WITH THEIR FIRST AND LAST NAMES. Holy FUCK how STUPID can you be!? Do you WANT to be cyberstalked?! Why not write your SSN and credit cards, too? Isn't there anything personal or precious about yourselves that's too intimate to just spread-leg to every stranger who looks your way? Look up the Japanese concepts of tatemae and honne. Extroverts are the insane ones: http://plover.net/~bonds/extroversion.html
A former colleague of mine listed 'extrovert' as one of his selling points on his CV. Unremarkable enough, you might think, but would anyone put 'introvert' on their CV? Similarly, one can easily find courses and self-help guides to make people more outgoing, but are there any self-help guides to make people more 'ingoing'? From what I can tell, lack of introspection is a rather more pervasive malady. But extroverts rule the world, and extroversion is universally seen as a positive character trait -- an attitude which annoys me no end. I want to present a different perspective here, which is to say, my own perspective -- which looks on extroversion as a kind of mental illness, and extroverts themselves as somewhat pitiable and undesirable lunatics, to be avoided by all right-thinking people.
There's something scary and pathetic about a life lived entirely, or even mostly, on the surface. I've often met people who, after a short period of acquaintance -- sometimes as short as a few seconds -- would launch into telling me the most intimate details and feelings, the kind of stuff I would only tell my closest friends. And I always think: if they're giving all this to me, what have they got left to give the people they're really close to? How can they show they're close to anybody? And the answer is: they can't. They don't get close to anybody.
None of the extroverts I know have what I consider worthwhile friendships. They do accumulate vast numbers of 'friends', but by introvert standards, these are fairly shallow, transient relationships. A common trait of extroverts is that they make no distinction between 'friend' and 'acquaintance'. I once knew a guy who thought calling anyone an 'acquaintance' would be a terrible insult. I told him no, acquaintances were just people I knew and possibly liked but who weren't close enough to be friends -- most people I knew, in other words. The guy didn't seem to understand, and the conversation that ensued revealed the horrifying truth that what he would consider a friend, I would only consider an acquaintance -- and that what I would consider a friend, for him there was no equivalent at all.
When it comes to things like intimacy and emotion I apply a simple economic relationship: scarcity equals value. And so praise, kind words, tears and confessions from an extrovert are all as worthless to me as so much confetti. It's impossible to put any value on something which is tossed out so carelessly and freely, at least any value higher than trash. Intimacy from an introvert is incalculably more precious. What an honour it is to be chosen as a recipient for an introvert's thoughts! How privileged you are that she is sharing them with you! To hear her innermost thoughts is to have something revealed to you which has never before been revealed; it's to have climbed an Andean peak to see a rare orchid in bloom; it's to be Carter at the door of Tutankhamun's tomb; it's to be Newton having just discovered gravity. Compared to one moment of intimacy from an introvert, all the outpourings of an extrovert are the cheapest of junk.
Whether they can control it or not, extroverts devalue their own emotions by nattering about them constantly. For an extrovert, emotions become the stuff of humdrum conversation, mouth-exercise to pass the time, like talking about the weather or the latest soap operas. It's a cheapening effect that shows a fear of anything resembling true emotion -- much as instant intimacy with all who care to hear shows a fear of anything resembling true intimacy.
Hullaballoo
Introverted people don't necessarily have more to say or are deeper thinkers than extroverts. There have been countless studies on both introverts and extroverts and generally, when people have very sensitive personal matters they feel the need to disclose, its rarely ever to someone that have a long-standing close relationship. It's almost always with to someone with whom they have a relatively superficial relationship. So the extrovert that discloses personal information did so BECAUSE they don't know you, and therefore, there is nothing to loose in your rejection or negative perception. Introverts often mistake the disclosure as an intimate bond or confidence when it's simply an emotional release.
Also, because extroverts tend to compartmentalize relationships (which is appropriate and healthy --most don't discuss financial planning with their physician or sex with the older lady across the street. In fact, rarely does an extrovert develop any sort of relationship with one they disclose information to, social, professional or otherwise.
I was intrigued by your article reference and realized there weren't any...The National Institutes of Mental Health, Mayo and the Institute for Social Research at Univ. of Michigan has ton of information on this topic.
You also referenced Japan and their social interactions. That is very, very silly as Leykis is TOTALLY American, and a lot of this stuff he's talking about WON'T translate into other cultural norms for acceptable male behavior. Perhaps he has a subset of Japanese listeners that may benefit from your article, but with the context of this blog, it's too esoteric and actually inappropriate for this classroom. That is to say...every woman I've met that spilled her heart out in the first few minutes...had decided that the guy she disclosed to WAS THE FRIEND AND WOULDN'T BE THE GUY SHE'D FUCK...I had to stop being that disclosure guy...
oh why oh why do so many people use failbook
Wouldn't that make you antisocial network not antisocial. I do use Facebook myself I think a lot of people use it because they are intraverts and really are not used to or think about what they do. I am not justifying any of the tard stuff but there is one possibility
"Anti-Social-Network" = Exactly!
Thing is, I AM social. In PERSON. I have a zero tolerance policy for those too cowardly to speak with their mouths to my face, or to use a telephone (NOT texting... VOICE-chat). But I'm also an introvert who prefers a few very good friends to dozens of near-faceless dweebs who are only worth talking about the weather with.
I'm not really against failbook just like I'm not against christianity or democracy. It's the legions of retarded followers (who are all You Must Be One Of Us. One Of Us. One Of Us.) that I have issues with! Not all are mouthbreathing fuckwits, but the few non-clueless-bints are akin to tootsie rolls in a sewer.
Thanks.
Tom, I needed this reminder. Thanks.
Hey Dad
I used to be one of those stupid fucks who thought women were all pure, and honest, but after listening to your show archives online, and getting sluts to do things for me when they already have boyfriends, now I could never trust a woman.
I'm 26, and rejected a 27 year old Spanish Latina recently because of shit like this.
Thanks Dad
Good morning!
Haha... You're the best Tom! Great bog
Are the women in CA really that shallow? Apparently.
I remember once, I was leaving Irvine Center in 2000 during a one-week vacation to SoCal. I had just spent a fun evening at the piano bar.
These 2 guys were hitting on me as I got to the car, their pick-up lines were them telling me how much they made (obviously students of L-101 *heh*). I told them I wasn't interested.
As soon as I said that, they postulated that I was from out of town. I guess they were used to women falling for that line. *heh*
"Are the women of the Anglosphere really that shallow?"
Yes. Yes they are.
If she's native to an English-speaking nation, she's a shitroach. No exceptions.
Foreign women ONLY, thank you very much! And the less English she speaks, the better! The farther away she is from any British Empire nation (America, Canada, Australia...), more power to her!
The story continues.....
Good morning to that lovely east-la green eyed, pink nipple mexican hottie that fucked me on the first date in the back seat of my car. She was quite the bomb shell boys, she came with everything from emotional trauma to mental instability and then claimed she had an STD but only revealed it a few days after the fact that the deed was done. Never mentioned it before or during but thank god for condoms. This lovely damsel in distress went to the extent of wanting to meet my parents and was SO in love. I intentionally skipped out Valentines day as soon as she started to count days down to 'valentines' day. Took her out to a cheap dinner (red lobster) 2 days after v-day to make up for it. You can guess where I was on that lovely 14th. She and I never ever slept again but she continues to call me to this day. Complains that her current bf's arent good enough, or nice enough or rich enough. Even went to the extent of asking me if I'd pay her in form of a macbook to fuck her once again. Good luck to the boy who has her now. I wish you luck but do know she calls me from time to time wanting to see how I am doing.....
Good morning to that lovely pot and cigarette smoking alcoholic lausd school teacher. Yes we hooked up 3 years ago and then two years go and then last year. It seems we always hook up during spring break. It is always the same routine, you call me, you say you are bored and if I'd wanna hang out. I say sure and then we go back to your place and do it. This year I've noticed that your facebook states that you are in a relationship, But I wouldnt be surprised if you called wanting to have hot steamy sex on your spring break anniversary. I know in the previous years you were in relationships, and yet you had to have some of me. Perhaps its the thought that I may take you to Havasu for the weekend like we did a few years back when we met or perhaps its the thought that I'd take you on a 3 day mexico cruise (and no boys I didnt pay for it) or perhaps its just that you like / love me a tiny little bit. Alas I may do reciprocate in that same way. Goodluck to the gentlemen who is with the firecracker that she is... and if she asks for a rear entry, she learned it from me.
Good morning to the lovely engineer who I met on an social network. You were fun, fiery and Asian. I'd never had an Asian before, so there was a challenge ahead in dating a smart Asian engineer but alas you are like every one of them. Insecure to boot, treat you like who you are and you come back to me all the time. There may have been potential for more if you hadn't said 'we shouldn't see each other again'. Perhaps my performance that night was lacking or I did not meet your expectations but still to day you call me to see how I am doing. You called me after you came back from a weekend with some girl friends only to say that all your friends got attention and you did not. Well that was your own fault for going to las vegas with three of your 'hottest' friends. Its not that you arent a looker, you just arent as beautiful as your friends. You know how they say, for a group of girls there is always a fat one, well you my friend are the fat one.
Amen father Tom
Great post. I enjoyed it.
Ty
God damn right
And this is why you are the dad I never had. You tell it how it is. I just dumped my bitch before the holidays. Best thing I could have ever done. Now she is the town slut. Their are very few women out there to "settle down with", that are worth anything. It's called a needle in the haystack for a reason guys. Now I understand why snoop says bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. Blow me up dad!
so so sad but true!
I am no angel but damn women are awful! And yes... I am a girl...that is how I know!