The Kind of "Chick" That Makes Us "Sick"
Any time I need to feel even better about myself, all I need to do is to check out the desperate whores you see on your average everyday online dating website. I read them for entertainment only because this is a very desperate group.
What they don't know is that these websites are, in reality, exactly like eBay. These girls are whoring themselves out to the highest bidder. And, as you know if you've ever used eBay, sometimes you get more than you ever expected for that old piece of junk you're offering. Other times, you get just 99 cents.
I would love to provide you with a link to the specimen I am about to quote, because the photos are more desperate than even the text below for this "45 year old" California resident who appears like to have her loose flesh amply displayed for what she apparently imagines are minions of drooling guys just waiting to give her what she wants.
I won't provide you with the link because I don't want to give her the opportunity to falsely accuse me of libel. Let's just say that this self-description could be from "anyone."
Here it is, cut and pasted exactly as I saw it (yes, single-spaced Unabomber-style), so you can judge for yourself:
HI - HERES A FEW "NEW PICS" 8/11/11 :) IM STILL "LOOKING" FOR "MR. RIGHT"!!! "HAVING FUN WITH THE "CAMERA"!!!.. I Like Io "See New Pics" of the Person Im "Meeting"!! (That's Fair') IM LOOKING FOR AN "ATTRACTIVE", "IN SHAPE" MAN WITH HIS "ACT TOGETHER"!,Fun, Generous, Caring person That looking for that "Special Person".. "About Me"- I USE TO 'MODEL' & DID SOME 'ACTING', 'NOW' I WORK PT. AS A 'SALES REP.' FOE A 'HOME INSPECTION CO.'.. I'm Outgoing, I love the outdoors. I snow ski, roller blade on the beach,also horseback ride. I keep myself "In Shape", I stay active.. I like to be "Romanced', Flowers, ect.. I , Spiritual, has Values.. Enjoys life and family, likes to have fun, travel, dining out, shopping, movies, theater ect.. likes the out doors, snow skiing, ect.. 'Romantic' who's looking for a long-term relationship, that could possibly lead to More... Maybe that's You !! ) I wont answer without a "Photo"!! :-) LOVE SUSHI Fine Dining , Good Wines, Romantic Getaways, I enjoy going to movies ,concerts, theater, Travel... I have an 14 year old Daughter who's the "Light of My Life"!! I am good Communicator, I'm Caring, Honest, and a loving person with Good Values, Spiritual.. I would like to have along term relationship that could later turn into something More Serious, I would like to get Married Someday.. So if you would like to meet sometime for "Coffee" Let Me Know.. I'm looking for a "Attractive" & "Professional Successful Man"!! who's Honest, a Good Communicator
And now, here is what the profile "said" along with some of my "running commentary."
HI - HERES A FEW "NEW PICS" 8/11/11 :) (What this really means: "I've been here for so long, many of you are beginning to recognize me and reject me like a house that's been on the market for too long.") IM STILL "LOOKING" FOR "MR. RIGHT"!!! ("See" what I "mean?") HAVING FUN WITH THE "CAMERA"!!! (What she didn't say is: "If I think I can hook you, I'll have even more fun with the camera so you can see the merchandise even better before I sell it to you.")
I Like Io "See New Pics" of the Person Im "Meeting"!! (That's Fair') (I, for one, like to "see new pics" of hot young women, Having "fun" wIth the "camera.") IM LOOKING FOR AN "ATTRACTIVE", "IN SHAPE" MAN WITH HIS "ACT TOGETHER"! (I'd like to find a woman just like that. Know any?)
Fun, Generous (we all know what that mean$), Caring person That looking for that "Special Person"..(Most of us are looking for a reasonable looking chick who can spell and who knows how to properly use punctuation and grammar. Know any?)
"About Me"- I USE TO 'MODEL' & DID SOME 'ACTING' (faking orgasm, perhaps?), 'NOW' I WORK PT. AS A 'SALES REP.' FOE A 'HOME INSPECTION CO.' (working PT? How do you make ends meet?).. I'm Outgoing, I love the outdoors. I snow ski (and she's really saying: "if you pay for my travel expenses and lift ticket"), roller blade on the beach,also horseback ride. I keep myself "In Shape", I stay active. ("I'm sexy and I know it!"). I like to be "Romanced', Flowers, ect.. I , Spiritual, has Values ("I won't sleep with you until I know you're paying for everything! what kind of a girl do you think I am?").. Enjoys life and family (prepare to babysit), likes to have fun (with other guys when you're not looking), travel (when you're paying), dining out (ditto), shopping (double ditto), movies, theater ect.. likes the out doors, snow skiing (said that already), ect.. 'Romantic' who's looking for a long-term relationship (sick of fucking guys who never pay for anything), that could possibly lead to More... Maybe that's You !! ) ("More?" You lucky guy!) I wont answer without a "Photo"!! :-) LOVE SUSHI ("and it IS expensive, after all!") Fine Dining (bring your wallet), Good Wines (and your ATM card), Romantic Getaways (you find them, then put down the deposit), I enjoy going to movies ,concerts, theater, Travel (lots of repetition here)...
I have an 14 year old Daughter who's the "Light of My Life"!! (I warned you about babysitting!) I am good Communicator ("I never shut up and I'm extraordinarily repetitive!"), I'm Caring, Honest, and a loving person with Good Values ("and you know that because I'm looking for someone who won't ask to sleep with me until he's made his first mortgage payment or car payment for me!"), Spiritual.. I would like to have along term relationship that could later turn into something More Serious (same thing said countless different ways), I would like to get Married Someday ("and I thought showing photos of my cooch to complete strangers would be the way to make that happen!").. So if you would like to meet sometime for "Coffee" ("because I never cook...that's why I look like this!") Let Me Know.. I'm looking for a "Attractive" & "Professional Successful Man" (Because I'm "not successful" and I'm depending on "you," the successful professional, to pay for everything I "buy!") !! who's Honest, a Good Communicator
Your honest reactions are encouraged. What do you think of this?
Comments
If ya wanna whore, then get a real one!
Tom, I'm with you all the way. I tried the match.com's and even that site for married people, and never got a bite. Then, at the end of my rope, I found a hooker site, and started getting what I wanted for a change. "You don't pay em to fuck you, you pay em to LEAVE when you're done" is the truest thing ever said. Hell, I've never found a volunteer that could or would do HALF of what a hooker will do. And, you can stay within budget. With the volunteers, you never know WHAT they'll eventually charge in terms of house payments and car repair bills. With a hooker, it's $300 an hour for anything your little heart can dream up. Except kissing.... they don't do kissing. Well fuck that. I'd rather stick my dick in there anyway.
Looking forward to your return on 4/2 and I'll be thrilled to sign up for a premium account, Tom!
Now, blow me up, Tom!
DShizzel
Online Dater
The Professor is coming back with a vengeance. April 2nd can't get here fast enough. Bitches beware!
These Types of Profiles Are A Dime A Dozen...
Seriously, my subject says it all. Every woman, on those dating sites, all say the same shit. They all want the "mister right" type of guy, and the funny part is that none of them have anything to bring to the table themselves. They all want a guy that will take care of them, but at the same time, they want equality. LOL. Keep dreaming...
I have never been on this site, before now, or any site like this, but I am glad I am wise enough to see women's games on my own. I am, also, glad that I am not the only one to see this shit that they pull.
I've only met a very small amount of women that can provide for themselves and don't want my help at all.
Tom, once again informative
Tom, once again informative and entertaining at the same time. You do a great service to young men who don't have fathers and can't see through the bullshit entitled bitches are saying. When do you come back on the air? Don't forget, they still need you TOM!
That profile sounds like so
That profile sounds like so many I've read online. Tom's translation of it is perfect to a tee.
-Andy
I want a woman with a 401k
Thats hot!
A truthful Romance Ad
A truthful romance ad:
I am looking for a guy who is hot, 50 and over. Hard body, tall, must be over 6’4. And have hair even if it was planted and grew again. Most important you must have a huge, always hard, luscious cock.
I want a man who likes sex and knows how to make a woman scream with pleasure. Listen up you short, fat, out of shape, losers, I really do not care about your money. If you think cash is king then get a clue.
Mr. Right has to be funny. He has to have enough character and ability to get any woman he wants so as not to be desperate, and hang for the sex, even if he does not like me. Come on, have values.
As we all know, men all think they are great in the sack, and they are not. So unless you have been in a long, long relationship or marriage and some other woman took you to school, just do not bother me.
Skills, plus a playful control streak is a must. I am not a coed, or a baby sitter. I take care of myself, but let’s forget denial. I am 50+ and while I look good for the numbers, if you like to attract your girls w/ bubble gum and tickets to Lady Gaga, get lost!
Oh I can hear the 101ers crooning now, worthless over 30! Hey stupid if your ego cannot stand up to a real woman, who can judge you on a level playing field, then keep on having sex with 19 year old, hot, easy, time wasters, while wondering gee why can’t I find the right girl? It does get boring after a few years; chasing meat, laying meat, wondering what her name was, and how to get rid of her so you do not waste your day off. Guys, it is nice to have a partner; one to carry the load, with you. Who can listen and understands. Like your best bud, who grew up watching the same TV, listening to the same bands and just gets you, like no one 20 to 30 years younger is ever going to be able to do. If you understand the previous statements you are a smart man, with life experience. Not a stupid loser who has to have Leykis teach him about women.
I like to keep my life simple. I value what cannot be lost or taken away. I love work and love what I do. I expect you love what you do too. I am happy. I am just simply one happy person. People tell me I am positive. I am an existentialist, if I die in the next 5 minutes; I want to have been enjoying my last minutes alive.
I cook, and like to take care of a good man. I keep a beautiful home; I get into yard work, and growing stuff. I like tools, no pun I like tools and making stuff. Furniture, redoing old stuff and making it cool. I garage sale shop and refinish, repurpose, and sell the finds in my Consign and Design space just for fun, although, it makes a few extra thousand a month, good hobby.
Law and Order reruns, The Closer, Mel Brooks’ movies, “Its good being king”. Comedy Channel, Conan, Leno, Supernatural, True Blood, Fox News. YES, I am aware of what is going on in politics but have figured out, it does not work. It is not ever going to work, because it is not about what is good for the country, it is about a few powerful people getting rich and staying in power. I watch, I understand, I am neutral. I simply do not care, any more.
Sports I like them. OK if you love them and disappear during the season, so be it. Pets are cool. Wild life is even better. I love to travel but not in the current economy.
Mr. Right is into whatever, but he has interests and can share them or not. I am a woman. I am looking for a man to enjoy.
Can someone tell her daughter
Can someone tell her daughter to give me a call in 2016?
Dear Father. At one point in
Dear Father. At one point in time I used to think you were "mostly right" about things, but that one special girl I liked, well you didn't know her, she was special. Now after a couple of years of listening to you, and THANKFULLY, not making any mistakes on my part, I have come to see the truth. You are absolutely 100% right about EVERYTHING! And on this bitch, you are absolutely correct. What's more amazing is as I was reading it, I was thinking the exact same things you were, which means I'm learning and seeing things as they truly are :)
besides her old age, stretch marks and her kid shes a catch!!!
look at the facts. she is mid 40s and closing in on menopause. she has a teen daughter. she only works part time. yet her demands are well demanding. i cant believe what the hell happened in her that she would think she should get a goodlooking sucessful guy. what is she bringing to the table . i think the posting of pics and delusions of grandeur about finding mr right come from a narcassistic mindset which is inflated through internet profiles and facebook accounts. this bitch needs to face reality. she is like expired meat at the grocery store that only those poor enough and willing to take a chance at getting sick will eat. thank you tom for breaking her online posting down in the fine fasion you always do.
Well said, brother!
Well said, brother!
worthless whore
This used up whore has to be delusional or something. What a dumb bitch, plus she's a single mother which makes it even worse....DISGUSTING.........
WAY PAST THE EXPIRATION DATE
She'll probably end up with some guy in his 60's who cant get any better. Good for both of them. Maybe I'll bump into the daughter in 4 years.
dun dun dun.....
Another one bites the dust.....
of her lesbo lovers cootch
Are most women really that
Are most women really that God damn dumb? As I was reading, I was picturing (or is that "picturing"?) a late 30-something woman I used to know and sadly realized she might be more common that I'd like to admit. I'm just happy to see that it appears no man has been dumb enough to fall for that yet.
Blow me up, Tom!
She made ma sick!
True translation. I learned a lot.
Thanks dad!
Reality between the lines
Ha ha! Very well done, Tom. Hopefully some of your students can understand what they are up against. I, too, read the personals for entertainment and am often stunned by the sense of entitlement these bitches have. Nearly all women over-inflate the value of their vaginas.
run, fast
Reading this story makes me believe I can still run a 4.7 40 yard dash and get away fast. .. Ha.
The Silver Lining
In four years, her daughter will be 18.....
Another reason to be discouraged to do that
Yep i have to be honest I tried the online dating crap and i got discouraged. I was thinking on doing it again but after seeing this forget it. Too much self centered whores looking for a dumbass to take care of their sorry asses. Take me out out JFK senior style Tom!
wake me up when the 14 year
wake me up when the 14 year old turns 18
That's why you get a vasectomy
If you're going to online date (poon), I would recommend getting a vasectomy...
Avoiding chicks like her
Helllllllllllllooooooooooooo Tom,
First time reply and long time listener! Thank Tom for breaking down her deceptive phrases for us.
Tony from Chicago.
I love it when they say they
I love it when they say they want a man that's "generous", thats just golddigger talk that means "I want some idiot thats willing to pay for my botox and buy my bratty kid Ugg boots and an IPhone"
Its sad but we all know some moron will come along and fall for her BS.
Dumb, Greedy Whore
It never ceases to amaze me how dishonest and hypocritical these stupid whores are.
If a man were to request such "qualities" in a woman, he'd be castigated and escorted out of town as a goddamn pussy by his buddies.
Men who fall for these whores deserve what they get, so wise up, fellas.
It never occurs to these bitches that it is not the duty or obligation of any man to finance a woman's lazy lifestyle. Why should a man be responsible for a woman's dreams when she couldn't give a flying fuck about his dreams?
Our society is set up to castrate men who refuse to submit to a woman's vapid ambitions of the 'Big Day' (marriage), the Ring, the mansion, and the Kids.
Fuck that!
While the legal system throughout the world favors the woman to the point that it does, only a pussfied idiot would marry one of these creatures.
A hooker twice a week is cheaper than a wife any day.
Save your money, boys, for Thailand or any other wonderful sex tourist destination. You'll be glad you did.