Stop With All The Texting Already

Chicks love to eat up your valuable time. This way, they take away time you could be using hunting fertile new ground.

One way they do this is to tie you up with constant text messages. They want to know where you are and where you're going at all times. They want a response to each and every stupid emoticon they send. How many times have you been driving and felt obligated to respond when she texts you with a ? Twenty times an hour?

Stop the madness. This is one thing you have to nip in the bud.The only thing a guy needs texting for is to ask "Where are you? I've been waiting for you here for 60 seconds now!" Or to say, "It's 2 AM and I happen to be in your neighborhood. Can I come up?"

Chitchatting about more than that will give her that dreaded misconception that you actually give a shit about her, which you do not. This is one of those insidious things that, once you start to routinely respond, it will turn from being cute and maybe even occasionally sexual to being an obligation. It will also give her the idea that she has an electronic collar on you. You must resolutely resist this.

Avoid the temptation to respond when she texts (unless the text says, "I'm lying here spreadeagle with the door unlocked!"). If she asks why you didn't respond, tell her that you were driving, or with your buddies or, if you're trying to get rid of her, tell her that you were with another girl and that she interrupted you. Don't assume that she will dump you. Many times, that only makes you more interesting to her.

Keep your texts short, unromantic, and only text when absolutely necessary.  And you haven't activated that GPS feature on your phone or on Twitter where she can check on your exact whereabouts, have you, Son? Jesus, don't tell me you did THAT.  And if you did, undo it before you finish reading this sentence.

Here is where we find out whether you're a real man. If she doesn't like it, you know what she can do: fuck off!

Can you handle that, Junior?